The wounded Wallabies have no chance in hell

The Man in the Stand, Yahoo! New Zealand Sport August 20, 2012, 10:15 am

As boring as bat-poo, watching paint dry and almost certainly, a politician's maiden speech.

Yes folks.

It's time to take our honesty pills and call it like it is.

The Bledisloe Cup has become the Boring Cup.

Last week, I wrote that I hadn't encountered a quieter build-up to a Bledisloe test.

I put forward the notion that the Olympics were largely responsible.

But after that bore-fest in Sydney on Saturday night, I must admit that I've been clutching at only partial excuses.

It's now way overdue to own up to the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

It's a shame to pour scorn on such a revered test of trans-Tasman rivalry as the Bledisloe Cup.

But unfortunately, it's now glaringly obvious that too many heavyweight factors have conspired at once to bury its past glory.

First, there's the over-kill.

Playing the Wallabies on such a regular, locked-in basis has become truly tedious.

Adding Argentina to set up the Rugby Championship instead of the Tri-Nations will add some intrigue but not enough to make a significant difference.

Next, each and every recent Bledisloe clash invariably serves to accentuate the convoluted mess that so many of rugby's rules have become.

I reckon that because both the All Blacks and the Wallabies coaches make such rigorous pleas to the referees before a game to police the areas that concern them the most, these whistle-blowers embark on an over-amplified mission to find fault at the slightest provocation.

On top of that, it certainly doesn't help to have an officious nutter like Alain Rolland involved, the referee who was in charge in Sydney.

Dishing out a penalty every three minutes is exactly why this Irishman has developed a reputation as an enemy of flowing rugby.

And last but by no means least when analysing the contributors to the current mediocrity of the Bledisloe Cup tests are the ongoing no-shows of the woeful Wallabies.

In this respect, Saturday's test was again the final straw.

For far too long I've wanted to believe that, under Robbie Deans, the Wallabies would at least be genuinely competitive.

But the truth is now undeniable.

Under the ex-Crusaders coach their form has mostly resided somewhere between awful and mediocre.

Surely, Deans is now on the coaching version of Death Row.

Against a rusty All Blacks outfit on Saturday night, the Wallabies were an embarrassment to the memories of many of their renowned predecessors from years back.

Dropped passes, dumb tactics and mounting indecision all contributed to a display, so in keeping with Australia's overall, dismal Super 15 performances earlier this year.

This 2012 Wallabies vintage that comprises a majority of Waratahs represents as much a threat to the All Blacks as a dead squib.

This week, fans here will be subjected to the usual hype before the upcoming test at Eden Park.

Both Steve Hansen and Richie McCaw will fabricate the danger that a wounded Wallabies team poses.

But in their heart of hearts, they know what we all know.

That is the Wallabies don't stand a chance on our home soil.

But Hansen and McCaw also know that spouting the truth would be a real threat to the maximum potential for bums on seats.

How boring!

Your thoughts please.

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  1. Kelly07:21pm Tuesday 21st August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    six tackles then kick wake me up when its over

  2. 07:45pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    Who ever wrote this about this all being a "yawn fest" would prob be the same writer that is first in line when it comes to bagging the AB's if they were losing. A poor effort indeed!

  3. 07:43pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    CROUCH, yawn....PAUSE, yawn....TOUCH, yawn....ENGA.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

  4. Terry07:08pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    Rugby is certainly boring, lets watch more Rugby League.

  5. ..07:03pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    Rugby stands for boring

  6. BamBam06:52pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    Have to disagree. I think the Bledisloe's great. And I'll never get tired or bored of beating the Australians at anything.

  7. William peter06:51pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    we should never underestimate the wallabies how dare you belittle them i might start supporting them if nz rugby is so blasa about the trans tasman rivalry beware there is another greg cornelson in the works somwhere and to pour scorn on their coach is very low i hope robbie deans and the wallabies have their day

  8. Alby06:46pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    After that refereeing fiasco on Saturday inSydney is it any wonder Paddy has given up on the IRB. The scrum is a appalling, the pause is wrong and inconsistant between refs and with all that horsepower ( or testorone) ready to be released it is dangerous to the point of some massive injuries are actually "in waiting" . The northern refs need to learn to understand that the games need to flow and only they can make it happen Officialdom at the IRB need to be carefull not to stuff up what is one of the worlds best contact games. Just how much modern rugby have the decision makers actually played???

  9. Brett06:37pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    You are 100% right except for one has been boring for a looooooooooooong time now. Its only popular because we are good at it. If the all balcks lost all the time people would call the game for what it is . A kick and clap bore fest

  10. Graham06:35pm Monday 20th August 2012 NZSTReport Abuse

    The first time I have ever agreed with the Man in the Stand, but he is right, its boring, boring, boring, ..............


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