- Red Bull Chronicles
- Horse racing
- More Sports
As boring as bat-poo, watching paint dry and almost certainly, a politician's maiden speech.
It's time to take our honesty pills and call it like it is.
The Bledisloe Cup has become the Boring Cup.
Last week, I wrote that I hadn't encountered a quieter build-up to a Bledisloe test.
I put forward the notion that the Olympics were largely responsible.
But after that bore-fest in Sydney on Saturday night, I must admit that I've been clutching at only partial excuses.
It's now way overdue to own up to the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
It's a shame to pour scorn on such a revered test of trans-Tasman rivalry as the Bledisloe Cup.
But unfortunately, it's now glaringly obvious that too many heavyweight factors have conspired at once to bury its past glory.
First, there's the over-kill.
Playing the Wallabies on such a regular, locked-in basis has become truly tedious.
Adding Argentina to set up the Rugby Championship instead of the Tri-Nations will add some intrigue but not enough to make a significant difference.
Next, each and every recent Bledisloe clash invariably serves to accentuate the convoluted mess that so many of rugby's rules have become.
I reckon that because both the All Blacks and the Wallabies coaches make such rigorous pleas to the referees before a game to police the areas that concern them the most, these whistle-blowers embark on an over-amplified mission to find fault at the slightest provocation.
On top of that, it certainly doesn't help to have an officious nutter like Alain Rolland involved, the referee who was in charge in Sydney.
Dishing out a penalty every three minutes is exactly why this Irishman has developed a reputation as an enemy of flowing rugby.
And last but by no means least when analysing the contributors to the current mediocrity of the Bledisloe Cup tests are the ongoing no-shows of the woeful Wallabies.
In this respect, Saturday's test was again the final straw.
For far too long I've wanted to believe that, under Robbie Deans, the Wallabies would at least be genuinely competitive.
But the truth is now undeniable.
Under the ex-Crusaders coach their form has mostly resided somewhere between awful and mediocre.
Surely, Deans is now on the coaching version of Death Row.
Against a rusty All Blacks outfit on Saturday night, the Wallabies were an embarrassment to the memories of many of their renowned predecessors from years back.
Dropped passes, dumb tactics and mounting indecision all contributed to a display, so in keeping with Australia's overall, dismal Super 15 performances earlier this year.
This 2012 Wallabies vintage that comprises a majority of Waratahs represents as much a threat to the All Blacks as a dead squib.
This week, fans here will be subjected to the usual hype before the upcoming test at Eden Park.
Both Steve Hansen and Richie McCaw will fabricate the danger that a wounded Wallabies team poses.
But in their heart of hearts, they know what we all know.
That is the Wallabies don't stand a chance on our home soil.
But Hansen and McCaw also know that spouting the truth would be a real threat to the maximum potential for bums on seats.
How boring!Your thoughts please.